Transcript:My Hero
Credits :enters the health centre for the first time, carrying an elderly woman on his back after she fainted. George: Hello. Where can I put this? Mrs. Raven: Well, don't give her to me. picks up the phone Janet, out here. hangs up again. Do you know what's wrong with her? George: Well, she's got rheumatoid arthritis in her left shoulder, a slightly irregular heartbeat and two nasty scars where she was delivered by forceps. Mrs. Raven: I meant why is she unconscious? George: Oh, she just fainted. Mrs. Raven: And you are? George: Fine. Thanks for asking. :Arnie's New York café, he's watching TV with a customer. Arnie has a smug look on his face. Commentator: There's two touchdowns. And the Denver Broncos game against the Dallas Cowboys has just ended with a 21-19 victory for the Broncos. turns off the TV Arnie: Yes! Thank you! Pay the man! does, reluctantly Customer: Every week ya do me! Every week, Arnie! gets up and heads for the door Arnie: What can I say? I've got a talent! Customer: Yeah! Arnie: I've got a nose... Customer: Yeah, yeah! man leaves, and Arnie now holds a tape in his hand Arnie: I've got a VCR! enters the health centre Janet: Mum, what are you doing here? enters slowly Ella: I don't want to come in, not with all these sick people! I told you that outfit does nothing for you! Janet: I'm a nurse! Ella: Well, at least accessorise! (She spots Piers) Piers! Piers: Mrs. Dawkins. Tell me how you stay so young, I'll recommend it on my show. Ella: Oh, you! (To Janet) He's gorgeous! (Back to Piers) I loved your piece on vericose veins, not that I needed it! Piers: Oh, heaven forbid! You have the legs of a teenager... Mrs. Raven: ...on steroids! George: Right, she's come out for dinner with me, but I don't know what to do next. I need help! Arnie: Have you got her a present? George: Surgical stockings. Arnie: You do need help. Right, you take her back to her place, and you show her the money! If she likes you as George "Surgical Stockings" Sunday, she'll love you as Thermoman! George: You think so? Arnie: You're Tom Cruise in tights, only taller! George: Right, I'll show her what I'm made of. Well, not literally, I mean, she'd faint if I did that. Piers: Janet, you'll be pleased to know I've decided to forgive you for that bistro mix-up last Tuesday. Janet: (sarcastically) Oh, good, I can sleep easy again. Piers: It's not your fault you went to the wrong restaurant. It's something about the female brain holding information. Janet: Is it? Piers: You wouldn't believe it. Lots of women I've been out with have had the same problem. Janet: You don't say. (She leaves) Well, goodnight. Piers: God, she fancies me. So, Mrs. Raven, you doing anything remotely interesting tonight? Mrs. Raven: I'm taking the triplets to see the exorcist. Piers: Hmm. Great movie. Mrs. Raven: Who's talking about the movie? Category:Transcripts